So you know how William Fichtner (actor to play Shredder in TMNT reboot) is super Japanese and junk? Cause it’s totally obvi right? (rolls eyes) Well, they now decide to fix this little…problem…by Americanizing him entirely. So forget Oroku Saki. You shall now call him ERIC SACHS.

I don’t know.  The name Eric Sachs sounds like some douche nozzle who shops at the Gap and folds his man panties. His name just doesn’t make me shake in my high tops like the sound of Oroku Saki. But Fichtner assures fans of the comic books and animated series not to worry about the reboot, continuing:

Turtles is coming together very, very cool. There is a whole interesting dynamic that happens in the world of Turtles and all I can really say about it at this point while working on it is that the Turtle film, it’s not like anything that I remember about the Turtles before. I feel like this Michael Bay-produced movie is just gonna really be something else. I’m pretty excited.

So. I guess we can just add this to our long list of worries.

I’m going to continue to cry tears of poop.