Knocking the geek community into a surrealist dream-like stupor, the announcement of Disney acquiring Lucasfilm and all affiliates managed to spark…ah…some commotion. That’s of course if by spark I really mean the exploding of a small moon-sized space station. While Lucas did recently retire blockbuster film-making with all but a middle-finger to his devotees, the biggest surprise to strike Star Wars since the unveiling of the Skywalker genes was that Uncle George was willing to financially part with his legacy. Considering caricaturing the man as this directorial Scrooge McDuck lustfully diving into his ocean-sized vault of bread feels bizarrely ordinary, it’s difficult to swallow that the film-Trump would pawn with his cash-cow. Of course, that’s not without his 4.05 billion dollar parting gift.

The deal resulted in Disney acquiring the Star Wars franchise, Skywalker Sound, ILM and associated companies along with the melodramatic fears of an Epcot-like Death Star delivering the coup de grâce  to our placid Alderaan. Now all fingers point to Disney consuming all in its wake like the happiest Wal-Mart on Earth. While Walt’s company may be on the path to trademarking oxygen and gaining the rights to food stuffs, let’s not be too malicious to Mickey. When last I took a gander, Star Wars was put on life support a long time ago in a galaxy not all that far away.

Few film directors have garnered more bitter disdain from their followers than George Lucas.  The summer of 1999 forever living in nerd infamy helped to prove that. The next generation of Star Wars exploded onto the scene with a less than savory taste. Suddenly unparallelled cinematic excitement turned into a Hiroshima-sized critical bomb. No longer did aficionados have time for Trekkie trials and tribulations, Star Wars fandom was too preoccupied with battling their own kind. The Phantom Menace segregating the base into an on-going civil war, over-dramatically painting the maker out to be either divinely flawless or the flanneled antichrist. Hey, maybe he’s not all brainwashing babies into needing overpriced underoos. He’s giving $4 billion to fund education (HERE). Then again…maybe he’s just trying to raise his PR.

Despite as much as it arguably maimed and scarred, the prequel trilogy did still gather a relatively large following all while pounding the box office with more green than Yoda’s sex life. It’s practically impossible to stay objective when discussing subjects with such personal nostalgia, but the new trilogy speaking to the younger crowd is factually undeniable. Sort of like horrifically stumbling upon your parents old sex tape, I’m not especially thrilled to acknowledge that I myself even saw  Episode I copious amounts of times during its summer release. It wasn’t until a few years later, my tastes matured, that a foreboding epiphany slapped me across the face with a film riddled with pandering faults and nonsensical plot-holes. Much like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, I re-awoke into a dawning of reassessment and finally adulthood acceptance. The White Ranger just doesn’t deserve an Oscar nod. Neither did Lucas. Not anymore.

Numerous amounts of fans are exclaiming George Lucas sold out to the mouse. Checking the bias at the door, didn’t literal walking product placement teddy bears kind of beat Mickey to it? You have saturating amounts of fast food tie-in toys to stoke childhood diabetes, limitless heaps of molded plastic painted with Chinese carcinogens, and chic designer label tee shirts from a Cambodian sweat shop far, far away. If General Grievous isn’t nothing but a deluxe action figure with four-arm spinning action (now only $19.99)…I don’t know what is! Star Wars re-invented what film commercialism meant, George Lucas becoming the forefather of shameless modern movie “toyetics” as we know it.

That’s not to say that the original trilogy is the equivalent of fine art. Even the most zealous of fanatics can admit that Star Wars works best as a moderately simplistic narrative that pulls predominately from archetypal and formulaic mythology. This isn’t Othello. Return of the Jedi truly kicked off the in-story marketing emphasis, yet despite it’s Henson-livened marionettes and child-like gags, it’s still dependent upon script first and foremost. The Ewoks may literally be walking teddy bears, but at least their role makes sense within the confines by adding progressive substance. It wasn’t until the prequels that narrative was sacrificed for exploitative commercial bank. For the majority of classic fans, Star Wars has felt like downright geek spousal abuse for over a decade. Despite wanting to run away, we continually take lashing after lashing because of our sycophantic inability to let go. As harsh as it may strike some, less George Lucas interference likely means a better over-all product. Disney is just providing no less than an intervention. In laymen terms…can things really get much worse anyway?

The question is where does that new frontier go? Palpatine’s AAA’s are dead. Our redeemed asthmatic icon has been ritualistically cremated. Our protagonists are happily liquored up at their Endor treetop celebration. The Expanded Universe is fandom’s go-to wet dream and yet it’s already a delusion. Confirmed (HERE)! It ain’t gonna happen! Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn Trilogy, the New Jedi Order, the Clone Emperor, their fate is yet to be confirmed. Will they be the latest of so much beloved EU to face retcon ruin or will the sequel trilogy indirectly draw from their prototype? Only Lawrence Kasdan may know…

Not ringing a bell? As the screenplay writer of Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and Raider’s of the Lost Ark, Kasdan has ingrained himself in Lucasfilm history. He may just be our salvation against the all-to-common modern trends of cringe-worthy dialogues and marketing ploys. He’s officially been confirmed (HERE) as co-writing the screenplay for any one or all of the sequel trilogy installments alongside Simon Kinberg of Sherlock Holmes fame. They will tag-team the fan-service films (HERE) with Little Miss Sunshine and Toy Story 3 writer Michael Arndt. Yet for as familiar as Kasdan is with the galaxy, even the finest of screenplay writers wouldn’t envy his task. This recycles the point again…

Where do you go when Disney wants two to three Star Wars films per year (HERE)?! You heard right. I can’t be alone in thinking that’s a little much. Maybe I jumped too soon on the optimism bandwagon. Kathleen Kennedy, President of Lucasfilm, has made it clear to employees that she intended them to release 2-3 Star Wars films a year starting in 2015 with Episode VII. How can you saturate the market and have it not produce assembly line redundancy like the obligatory plastic action figures it’ll spawn? If anyone can pull this off it would be Kasdan. Could they be breaking apart the supposedly already shot live-action television show into two- hour cinema installments? Can that many films really work or would the galaxy far, far away become so abundant that interest would wane? Brace yourself, the cries of childhood rape are coming.

While the classic character line-up may be in high demand, eager as some are to revive their long-time flat-lined film careers, I’m not entirely sure that showing a frumpy Carrie Fisher and geriatric Hamill would end up going over any better than diapered Darth and baby Fett. Be careful what you wish for. It worked so well with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, right? If Star Wars has a silhouette then it would have to be the samurai-like domed helm of Lord Vader. What’s Star Wars without the baritone vocals of James Earl Jones? Rumors have surfaced (HERE) that Vader may resurface. Yet whether you’re for the DVD edit Hayden spirit or original Sebastian Shaw Anakin, one thing is solidified. No matter the itteration, Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker is dead. Leave him with dignity.

This brings about the question of what truly defines Star Wars. I’ve never received an unbiased answer as to why the sequel trilogy needs Luke, Leia, Han, and Vader. Fans put limitations on what the franchise can be and cloud themselves with sentimentality. When last this was done…the results were less than spectacular, improbably shoehorning roles like Chewbacca and C-3PO into the script for no sensible purpose other than for cheering audience recognition. Symbolism and iconic qualities are required. The lightsaber is an inevitability. The force will surely force its way in. Perhaps the Skywalker linage will have some part to play. While I may be in the minority, I hold firm that the best road to take is an all-new and relatively detached storyline. Include nods to Luke Skywalker and the Galactic War of the classic films, perhaps relatives or spirits much like that of the Darkhorce Legacy comics, but avoid damaging the original property any more than it already is. Don’t include or at least severely limit the original cast. Meh! Whom I kidding? I’ll admit it. Harrison Ford could be in the Millennium Walker and while I may hate it… I’d still be there opening night.

Another spectacle is the Kessel run for director. While Spielberg has straddled the line of directing Star Wars multiple times, he’s claimed (HERE) to it not being his genre. While a huge Star Wars fanatic, Zach Snyder apparently thinks doing new episodes is too slippery a slope for his interests. At least we won’t have to endure constant slow-mo saber duels. Most controversial of all was Quentin Tarantino’s comment knocking Disney and Star Wars in general. Though a lightsaber with bad ass mother fucker engravings would be tight, I think it’s safe to say that no one though Tarantino to begin with. J.J. Abrams was considered a likely candidate and while being heavily influenced by the Wars, he just had to turn down (HERE)  all the clamoring and cravings. The list cycles from Favreau to Whedon, Peter Jackson to Joe Johnson. If they’re even slightly heard of, no matter how inappropriate, they’re rumored.

So here we are, three screenplay writers in and still lacking a directorial frontrunner. While that might frighten some, the fact is that Disney has done pretty well of late. Between The Avengers, did you forget Disney bought-out Marvel as well, and the entire annals of Pixar, do you really think we’re in worse hands than those that squeezed Attack of the Clones? Really? In the world of rampant post-prequel depression, an entirely new and collaborative creative staff isn’t really the wrong way to approach this. Imagine what new sculptors could engineer without the tyrannical rule of the flanneled one steadily governing their every move. This is one of the first genuinely universal periods of Star Wars anticipation since the announcement of Episode 1. This deal may produce literal dozens of theatrical exposes and billions at the box office, but damage the sanctity of Star Wars? If things go south, it’ll merely be put out of its misery. This is a new lease on life. Much like the all-powerful force itself, this can bind the fan-base once again. So get used to Leia being a new kind of princess, because Disney…you’re our only hope.