Alright, fanboys and fangirls, there’s more news about the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Sigh.

I hate writing about TMNT because it’s like stabbing all of you in the face with a rusty spoon. The only upside for me is every time I hear something about this movie I feel like I’M being stabbed in the face with a rusty spoon and I might as well take you all down with me. So what’s news?

According to SlashFilm, William Fichtner will be playing Shredder. Here’s an image of this uber Japanese looking man:

Meet Shredder, aka Eric Sachs. Where does the name Eric Sachs come from? Bay and company made that shit up because Oroku Saki was probably too Japanese a name for a Mr. Fichtner. Hollywood, we need to talk. You don’t have to whitewash all of these characters, even Splinter is being played by someone who’s white which makes me wonder if there are ANY Japanese characters in this film about ninjas. Granted, Splinter is a rat who’s mutated into anthropomorphized rat-man so he doesn’t necessarily have to be Japanese.

But this bears repeating, it’s a movie about NINJAS and no one in it is from JAPAN. WHERE NINJAS ARE FROM.

I’d like hazard a guess as to what they’re going to with this new Shredder. Since Bay and Co. seem to understand the TMNT mythology so well, this will be the thought process: His name is Shredder, so he obviously mutates with a shredder and will look like an anthropomorphized shredder. Thus, you’ll see a man-sized version of this.

Fuck you Michael Bay.

Fuck you.