XXX: Return of Xander Cage has pretty much everything you’d expect from the 90’s X-Games meets James Bond film franchise starring Vin Diesel. While yes, it’s a completely pointless action film, how else are you gonna see skiing down a hill in a Dominican jungle?  No really, that happens.

It’s been 12 years since we last had a taste of the super soldier XXX program, and 15 years since the first film was released.  The expectation of a Vin Diesel fronted action film have sky rocked, what with the pretty great revamping of the Fast & Furious franchise.  However, the majority of the high octane sequences in XXX seem a bit outdated and even more ridiculous than the trailer suggests.

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Xander Cage and his magical oceanic motorcycle

The film centers around Xander Cage (Diesel), presumed dead former secret government operative who is still an adrenaline junkie. He is called back into action after his former boss (Samuel L Jackson) is killed, and a highly skilled crew of agents steal Pandora’s Box, a device that controls orbiting satellites.  The crew includes Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, and Tony Jaa.

Diesel and Yen have a faceoff with a game of grenade hot potato.
Diesel and Yen have a faceoff with a game of grenade hot potato.

In all honestly, I’ll watch Donnie Yen in pretty much anything, as his presence on camera is captivating and his martial arts style remains interesting and entertaining.  Deepika Padukone isn’t your typical Bollywood actress in this role, which is refreshing and wonderful to see.  Tony Jaa with this frosty hair and party boy character is a delight to watch.

Vin and Deepika
Vin and Deepika

Cage is brought back by government specialist Toni Collette, and ordered to recover Pandora’s Box at all costs, to prevent further loss of life by falling satellites. Xander agrees, on the condition he can bring his OWN crew of talents with him.

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I really wish we got more of the sequences like this, a shootout in a warehouse.

Ruby Rose is the sniper, Rory McCann is a tank who’s survived an ungodly amount of vehicle crashes, and  Kris Wu is “fun to have around” and a born distraction.  Needless to say, there is a meeting of members of the teams, and excitement ensues.

SCORE: 2 OUT OF 5, viewed in 3D

The reason for the low score is the lack of any real emotion throughout the action. There really isn’t anything story wise to spoil here, due to lack of a well thought out plot.  If you’re looking for a pointless action flick with explosions and gunplay, you’ll more than likely enjoy this movie.

XXX: Return of Xander Cage opens worldwide on Friday January 20th, 2017.

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