Those who know me know I am pretty solidly a PC gamer. Without my: Arrow keys, space bar, wsad keys and mouse I am pretty terribad… But I do like to occasionally divulge into the world of consoles. – In the spirit of Christmas I have done just this for you little tinsel decorated eggs.
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The good and the bad, I shall give them an Egg rating out of 5.  (Got a theme going people, stop the egg judgements).
LET US BEGIN!!

 

 

 

Santa Claus Saves Earth for Playstation GBA: 1 EGG –
The title pretty much sums up the fail that is this game. I got sick of dragging Santas drunk fat ass around to save a world I wasn’t really drawn into wanting to in the first place. The evil fairy can have this world, I would die happy watching Santas destruction.

You better believe I posted a naked fat dude on here. MERRY CHRISTMAS MOFOS!!

 

Daze Before Christmas for SNES /Genesis: 1 EGG –
I have a sleigh full of both snes and genesis games I emulate on my pc. I was SO down for this! I got my childhood on aaaaaaaaand it sucked. This was paramount to asking for a GI-JOE for Christmas and ripping through that shitty wrapping paper to see a Zorro. – I can’t even be bothered telling you about this experience, it makes me want to walk into traffic. I would rather poop in my hands and clap than relive the ordeal.

 

Killing Floor Christmas themed maps for PC: 4 EGGS –
If you have steam get on, in and around this shizz, if not. Get it. – Killing floor was originally meant to be a fps mod for Unreal Tournament 4 but we scored full retail. It is rad co-op and great to lan, but if you’re antisocial it has single player.  An experiment went wrong and humans turned into zombie type mutants. Pick a class and you lvl all class’s as you play, not just the one you have selected for the perks at the time. At the end of each map there is the Patriarch to fight, watch out for this dude he has like spikey dicks coming out of his chest and Harrys cloak of invisibility. oh and some of the chicks have their titties out (score).
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How the Grinch Stole Christmas for Nintendo DS: 1EGG –
If I was playing against the Grinch to save Christmas perhaps I would have enjoyed this a little more, but this was so terrible….  I wandered around unscathed through easy lvl after easy lvl doing mundane tasks till I wanted to save Christmas, this game was THAT BAD!. So bad I was seriously in favour of something good and amazing happening to these stupid ass characters who let me ruin Christmas right under their noses. The treats I earnt after boring myself for extended periods of time through the same landscape over and over again were not good enough. Booooooo!!
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The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie’s Revenge for PS2/Xbox: 3 EGGS –
I like just about anything Capcom so when I came across this I was full of hope. You hop into the game to find you are playing as Jack Skellington in all his glory. Oogie has taken over your fkn crib (that’s what you get for leaving to find new Halloween ideas). You must own that smug bastard with your Soul robber (goop whip) and take back what is yours. Are you going to let him become Seven Holidays King, NO! NO YOU ARE NOT! While you are at it: Save Santa (and Christmas), Pick up your woman Sally on the way home and kiss that bitch ontop of a hill basking in all your well earnt glory.
– (Protip: There are a sackload of cheats for this game, happy googeling).
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Diddy Kong Racing for the Nintendo64: 4 EGGS – 
I know this is not a solidly Christmas themed game but there are Christmas trees, Christmas music and Candy Canes in snowflake maps so stop yelling at me!! If you rock this game single player you can unlock lvls for multi so you can spread some Christmas gaming funtimes with friends and family. You can race Hovercraft,  Aeroplanes and of course cars. I enjoyed it, if you try it and don’t then maybe you need to have more fun. Seriously, This shit rocked in our childhoods and still rocks now.

 

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I will end with some Aussie Christmas well wishes.
– Hope your beer is cold, BBQ’s cooked to perfection and no Dingos eat your babies. Don’t get to sunburnt cunts.
– Ness 🙂