We, as humans, know more about the skies above us than the oceans that surround us. What we do know is that there are some giant creatures lurking in our waters and we are still finding aquatic species that continue to boggle the mind with their unimaginable shapes and sizes. Yesterday, the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa and Auckland University of Technology teamed up to give us an incredible look into only one of two colossal squids ever collected intact; the other was a female discovered in 2008 caught in the Ross Sea by the same vessel. Hooked in December 2013, these scientists thawed this giant animal in a specially constructed tank located in Wellington only two days ago. Prior to the discovery of an intact colossal squid, evidence of their existence was usually found in pieces inside of sperm whale bellies. These creatures are thought to live in depths of more than 1,000 ft below the murky depths meaning that despite the information we will be able to gather about their anatomy, it is still difficult to say what how a colossal squid behaves or the purpose of some of their organs like the ink sac. Colossal squids are different from the famed giant squids, having a shorter but heavier body than the giant squid. In other words, there may or may not be a creature that is bigger than one that attacks and scars sperm whales. Their limbs are also equipped with sharp hooks that differ from the small teeth lining the suckers of giant squids. To sum up everything up, these creatures probably alongside the giant squid was responsible for old Kraken legends.

For those of you who are a little squeamish or had to opt out of frog dissection, this is probably not the video for you. Read on past the video for some of the finer details that were discovered from this amazing specimen.

*four hours later – insert long intervals of watching other people watching cameras, squid-ception if you will, and wonderfully accented what-ifs of this gigantic creature.

While scientists had hoped for a male specimen, they discovered the colossal squid to be female. They were not disappointed because they had found eggs in her stomach during the examination which will give them insight into the reproductive systems of the colossal squid. Upon examination of the eye, they can almost (damn you, elusive giant squid!) conclude that the colossal squid has the largest eye in the animal kingdom. We can assume that that our creature has excellent vision and can see in the dark by filtering light through their retina. The beak also looks more like the eye ball than the actual eyeball (which looks more like the creature from Pet Shop of Horror) with quite a bit of muscle attached to it, giving it a huge amount of strength. Yum.

It is actually a little scary if you think about it. Imagine an eyeball bigger than your head, attached to a body weighing  slowly rotating to meet your gaze. Whelps, thank you science for the nightmares to follow.

Other thoughts while watching video:

“excited..excited..excited..”

“GAH. ITS BUBBBLING, ITS ALIIIIIVVVE”

“tentacle..porn..”

“let me lovvvve you!”

“can you imagine the price on this black market sashimi?”

*eye lens pops out* “WHAT SORCERY IS THIS???!!?”