It’s that time of the year again! Time for drunk Santas frolicking the city streets, the move from pumpkin spice lattes to eggnog-y goodness, and of course, the infamous UGLY SWEATER PARTY.

However, whilst searching for the sassiest of sweaters to bring out the piney green of envy from all the partygoers, you find yourself panicking because:
a) that you have lost all sense of time and the party is this week
b) typing in sassiest sweater only yields cats dressed as hipsters

Well, good thing Aggressive Comix has round up a selection of choice “sweater” wear to make you wish you could these wear ridiculous sweaters ALL YEAR ROUND!

First up in our round of picks is this spectacular number that was literally conceived where unicorns give birth to sparkles.


Women’s Santa Unicorn Sweater – $79.95

When I think Christmas, I think White Christmas..a Betty White Christmas


Dreaming of a White Christmas Pullover Sweatshirt – $21.99

A true family story, a perfect family treat.

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.08.45 AM

Wubba Lubba Cookies Sweater – $25.00

How many holidays have you holed up cramming your brain with SO MUCH JAPANESE ANIME?! This is what Christmas is really about, adorable space cats and love.

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.10.12 AM

Senshi Sweater – $25.00

To the Golden Girls marathons that continuously play..regardless of the season!

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.11.01 AM

Golden Belles Sweater – $25.00

A sweater should clearly have protruding objects from it, that goes double for Christmas ones. This particular beauty will provide both lumbar support and provide a place to rest your beverage! If only all clothing was this functional…

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.13.04 AM

Red 3D Christmas Sweater with Stuffed Moose – $67.95

Soft kitty. Warm kitty. These kitties won’t rip you to shreds! However, they do look like the epitome of cuddle wear! Who says you cannot be both adorable, furry, and warm during these holiday shenanigans!


Blue Embroidered Cat Christmas Jumper – $25.00

Speaking of cats, how about cats in a Hat? That’s Hat with a capital H. This particular number has that homemade touch and really shows how I am slowly embracing the role of crazy cat lady.


Cats in Santa Hats Christmas Sweatshirt – $19.99

I bet this is how Santa got into Mrs. Claus’ chimney stacks! Naughty list, indeed!

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.37.42 AM

Spider Santa Sweater – $69.95

This one was picked solely because it looks like the teddy bear is shooting lasers out of its eyes. Also because there is an element of danger in this one. Please do not dip self into liquids.


Tiara Bear-riffic Hand Embellished Multicolor Lightup Ugly Christmas Sweater Vest – $65.00

Simple and direct, but is it? A X-mas sweater that will make the other person go “ he talking about the brilliant ornaments so thoughtfully displayed throughout the house, his feelings in regards to the event, or his testicles. This man truly has layers.”

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 11.48.55 AM

Plus Size Ornament Balls Christmas Sweater – $51.95

Who wouldn’t wear this for eight straight days and come out smelling like a fresh llama?! It’s a Hanukkah holiday miracle!


Happy Llamakkah Sweater – $54.95

And for those of us that are not too lazy to make their own sweater but justtttt lazy enough to not want to acquire all the holiday elements to strategically stick all over a miscellaneous and oversized sweater, this kit is for you! Also..this is the cheapest one we found in the internet world.

Screen Shot 2015-12-09 at 12.45.48 PM

Gender Neutral Pullover Sweaters Ugly Sweater Kit – $15.00

These are only some of the hidden gems in our vast cyber market, but we hope you have found the sweater-y goodness that will make you shine (in some cases, very literally) in the sea of purposely-ugly outfits.

UNTIL THEN! I leave you with this very happy animal adorned as you will soon be!




ABOUT >> Mac Lemons
  • ACCOUNT NAME >> paranoidlemons
  • BIO >> Mac is a history lover, avid harry potter fan, and occasionally pretends to join the circus. While flying on fabrics and searching for magic are her true passions, her civilian life forces her to walk around a lot.
  • CONTACT >>

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *