Oh this was a tough one, there’s way too many awesome movies headed our way in this year that I can feel my bank account shrinking as I type. I am Fry, yelling at Hollywood, “Take my money!” Actually maybe I should just move into the nearest multiplex and live in there for a year.
The other thing you’ll notice is the ridiculous amount of sequels coming out on this list in what I call, “The Year of the Fucking Sequels”. The following list is compiled in order of release.
The Evil Dead
Let’s start off with the most controversial on my list, the Evil Dead remake. The only person more surprised than you that I’m looking forward to this is me! Let me give you some background, I love the Evil Dead films–I love them so much I actually recut the whole trilogy into one 4 hour film so that way I could cut out the inconsistencies between them.
Why am I looking forward to the remake? Because it looks really, really gory–just like Raimi would have wanted it and what, deep in our geeky secret little hearts, we’ve been waiting for. Plus, the trailer has enough nods to the original that I feel comfortable with what’s been done.
The Evil Dead premieres April 12th
Iron Man 3
The return of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark? Ben Kingsley as the Mandarin? Yes please!
Yeah, I know there’s some out there who believe that Mr. Kingsley isn’t quite Chinese enough to play the Mandarin but I have no problems with that. I mean, check out Idris Elba as Heimdall in Thor! Hell, Marvel remade Nick Fury into Samuel “Motherfucking” L. Jackson and really, which Nick Fury do you prefer, Mr. Jackson or the Hoff?
Mr. Kingsley is gonna be awesome as The Mandarin, and I’m really looking forward to what Shane Black is going to do with Iron Man.
Iron Man 3 premieres May 3rd
Star Trek Into Darkness
This movie is about… well, the villain the crew of the USS Enterprise has to face is… I mean, the plot is about… Look I have no fucking clue as to what is going to happen in this movie. JJ Abrams keeps everything so close to his chest that we don’t even know if the villain’s name of John Harrison is even real! Is he really playing Khan or Gary Mitchell, I have no goddamn idea! But Abrams has done a bang up job at reinventing Star Trek, even though I still have a hard time calling it Star Trek.
Star Trek Into Darkness premieres May 17th
Man of Steel
I’ve never been a big fan of Superman. He’s too much of a boy scout and everyone loves him and yadda yadda yadda. He’s uber powerful and has so many superpowers… hell, he can reverse the flow of time in the Richard Donner films by flying really fast around the planet.
The trailer makes me believe in a person who wants to belong to a world and yearns for it but because of what he is, he doesn’t fit in. Finally, someone finds an emotional “in” into Superman I can understand. He’s not a dark character like Nolan’s Batman but he’s also not the cloy happy character from the previous films.
Man of Steel premieres June 14th
Kick Ass 2
No trailer, here’s some behind the scenes pics.
About fucking time this is coming out! The bloody, cursing, tongue in cheek look at the superhero genre is finally getting it’s sequel! I was almost sure this wasn’t going to be made that when it went into production I still had a hard time believing they were making it. Then again, I laughed at the idea of them making an Indiana Jones 4. Then I cried in anger when I saw it. Point is, never underestimate Hollywood’s need to make a sequel.
Kick Ass 2 premieres June 28th
Giant monsters invade Earth and humanity builds giant robots to fight them. On one level, I understand that this plot is stupid. With the amount of times my electronics break down or need a reboot it’s hard to picture giant monster punching the crap out of a giant robot and it still working.
Then again, it’s giant monsters versus giant motherfucking robots! Who the fuck doesn’t want to see that no matter how dumb the idea is! It’s an idea as old as humanity itself, or at least it should be. Cavemen were drawing Voltron on cave walls in my mind’s rewrite of history.
Pacific Rim premieres July 12th
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
No trailer, so here’s the beautiful Rosario Dawson talking about it.
Another sequel I swear I’d never see. You know, my ability to predict which sequels will never be made is horrible so expect Ghostbusters 3 to come out next year–cuz that’ll never get made. The original Sin City oozed so much style that it felt like something new and fresh in film had been created, hyper-noir. The one thing I’m worried about is that the second time around, that won’t be enough. Remember when the sequels for the Matrix came out? Bullet time had become so bland that it really needed to rely on story. Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez are no Joseph Conrad.
Sin City 2 premieres October 4th
No trailer, but here’s the only production pic we got so far.
Orson Scott Card wrote one amazing piece of work called Ender’s Game. I hated the sequels, both the Bean sequels and the Ender sequels but the original is just one of my favorite pieces of fiction and the character of Ender is just so engrossing.
I’m curious to see how faithful they are to the book and whether they’ve kept the ending of the book and how much of Ender’s siblings are in it. Or maybe they’re really just adapting the novella? In any case, all I want to hear is one phrase, “the enemy’s gate is down”.
Ender’s Game premieres November 1st
Thor: The Dark World
No trailer, so more behind the scenes pics
The second film in Marvel’s Avengers phase 2 plans. One of the things I didn’t like about the first Thor film was that he spent a lot of time, well, not being Thor. Most of the film was a fish out of water story and while lots of fun, I like Thor when he’s smacking people with his hammer, mew-mew. This time we get a lot more Thor as he deals with the dark elves led by the ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston.
Thor: The Dark World premieres November 8th
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
No trailer, cast and crew talking about the sequel
Did you have enough of Benedict Cumberbatch as the big bad in Star Trek Into Darkness? Of course not! How about the most Britishly named actor alive as a motherfucking dragon? I know lots of people had problems with the HFR of the first film and that it dragged but I don’t care. Sherlock Holmes is a motherfucking Dragon! Not to mention Sauron…
I can’t wait for all 3 Hobbit movies to be finished so I can buy the extended editions and spend a whole 24 hour period living in Tolkien’s world! That is the definition of epic!
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug premieres December 13th
Would you add something else to this list or think my selection blows balls? Well then, what films are you looking forward to? Let us know in the comments!